Life As Seen by a Mouse
by Froggegirl
Summary: Mouse's diary, starting before Neo is unplugged... A little Mouse POV and how he takes life on the Neb. Nothing too in-depth, I just wanted to write a Mouse story. UPDATED!!! Yes, Entry 10 is here, and it brings with it THE DRAMA!!! Yee-haw!
1. Disclaimer, in other words you have my p...

This is a story I made up because there are not enough stories about Mouse and he is my second-favorite character in 'The Matrix'. I'm not really sure where to take this- right now it's Mouse's diary. I could continue along these lines or do an entry for a new character. I might stick with Mouse for a few chapters. You tell me. Review, please, and you can be my new best friend! 

Ah yes, the disclaimer. Except for Aria, who is entirely MY creation, none of these characters belong to me, although if I had a choice I wouldn't mind having Tank…. Anyways, everything belongs to the Wachowski dudes and I personally don't think they're gonna be giving the rights to me anytime soon. So, I shall have to satisfy myself by basking in the shadows of their brilliance, lurking, writing fanfics….


	2. Entry 1

Entry 1

I don't know where I came from. I don't know who my parents are. Hell, I don't even know my own goddamn name. Sure, everyone else here goes by their hacker aliases, too, but at least they had names. Some of them even remember those names, although it's kinda like trying to see a face through a foggy glass door.  

Alright, I do know a few things. I am about nineteen years old, which makes me the youngest person on this ship by a good six years. I am really good with computers, which is obviously what landed me here in the first place. I was unplugged when I was about nine, way too young. The only reason Morpheus did it was because I hacked into one of his codes, and that would have seriously fucked things up if they had let me go with that information. So he basically kidnaps me, carts me off to Zion, leaves me there for five or six years, and then I join the crew on the Neb. The crew back then wasn't much different; Tank, Dozer, Cypher, Trinity, Apock, and of course Morpheus. And then there was Nova and Kyassa. Two girls. Nova was older, almost like a mother, kind of like Morpheus is sort of my father. I guess. Kyassa was closer to my age, about three years older than me. I loved her. We were the youngest on the Neb, so we stuck together. She got unplugged about a month before I joined the crew, so it was like we were the same age, experience-wise. 

Kyassa reminded me of someone I knew back in Zion, a girl named Morgan. Such a plain name, like a Matrix name, but I thought it was gorgeous in its simplicity. Trinity is a pretty name, but I think that some of the Matrix names are nicer. Faith was always one of my favorites. I used to think that if I ever had a daughter I'd name her Faith. Too late for that now, I guess. The odds of me finding a girl I care that much about in the short length of the time I expect to live are practically nil. And I know odds. Remember? I am a computer freak. 

And I know that Morpheus means well. After all, he has been pretty lenient towards me ever since I joined. I've fucked up a few times, and I've been punished, but not ridiculously. We usually aren't punished too badly. Then again, we don't normally fuck up a lot. In life and death situations, you learn not to. Fast. Or it's not a life and death situation anymore. Just death. 

I miss Kyassa. Everyone else on this ship is older. Even Trinity- she's caring, but more like an older cousin that you only see a few times every year. I really can't talk to anybody. Personally I find it kind of amusing. Here I am, unplugged, fighting Agents, ready to die every day, and yet I still have bouts of typical teenage angst. Un-freaking-believable. Then again, maybe it is almost believable. Makes you wonder, you know, if those emotions are real or not. I sort of lost track a few years ago of what emotions are real, and what are product of the Matrix.

I know the Lady in Red isn't real, but when she's breathing your name in your ear it doesn't really matter whether she's real or not. We all need to indulge ourselves sometimes. Funny, a lot of the guys on the Neb want to meet her but I'm almost protective of her. Like she's my own personal property. Which she kind of is. But honestly, she's a computer program. It's not like she's a living, breathing person. I just wouldn't want to know that, say, Cypher had used the same program. Yuuuuckk…. I really did not need to think about that. Bad thought! Cypher likes Trin, anyways, but even that…. Naw, Trin has someone special waiting for her. I dunno, I just don't think she and Cypher go together at all. Nova was the only one that Cypher would really talk to. And she got killed, oh, two years ago? Cypher's really closed up since then. He just sits there at the console, watching the patterns of the Matrix and drinking Dozer's moonshine. He really won't talk to anyone except sometimes Dozer, because Dozer's just so laid-back and calm. Almost the opposite of his little brother. Tank is hyperactive and crazy, but he has the same calmness that Dozer has. That's why Tank makes the greatest operator- he never gets really upset, and even when he does, you can't hear it in his voice. I can't tell you what a relief it is to hear his relaxed voice tell you there's a phone around the corner, especially when you're being chased by an Agent. And we're always chased. Because you don't fight Agents. You run. 


	3. Entry 2

Entry 2

This has been a baaaaaad day. First, the "food" machine broke, so we had no breakfast. Not that it's really breakfast anyways. But I remember Cheerios with strawberries and milk in the Matrix. I know they weren't real, but god, they tasted so good. And chocolate, too. It really makes you wonder, you know? Like, some things I've done outside the Matrix but never inside. Drinking, for example. In the Matrix, I'm way too young to drink. You wonder if drinking is any different in the Matrix. Here, I'm just one of the crew. I get treated to Dozer's moonshine same as everyone else, except Switch, because she doesn't drink. I think in the Matrix her dad was an alcoholic. I've heard it runs in the genes. I guess that kind of turns you off alcohol for life. You never know what might happen to you. Mostly the crew doesn't get drunk. It's a pretty stupid thing to do. You need all your senses out here. 

And sex. Oh yes, horny teenagers are everywhere, huh? Well, look, I'm nineteen, I haven't lived inside the Matrix for ten years. Since I was in fourth grade and cared more about stuffed animals than girls. Everyone else here has had the chance at some point or another. Ok, I lived in Zion for a while, and I did know girls there, but I left when I was about sixteen, which is a bit young if you ask me. Then again, it's not really that young when you consider that everyone around here expects to die every single day. That was why a lot of kids in Zion would hook up. They were going out with a crew the next day and they'd probably never see each other again. It didn't really matter who you were with. That's the problem. Everything loses its meaning here, out of the Matrix. Everything except life. And the sad part is, this is reality. This is as real as it gets. 

I trust everyone here, though. Morpheus- well, you have to trust Morpheus. If you don't trust him, you're dead. Besides, he's so easy to trust. After all, he's in charge on this ship. If you don't trust him, you find yourself another captain. He always sounds so reassuring that you know he'll make everything ok. Until you come up out of Wonderland and realize that we're pretty much on our own, and Morpheus will let you die for the Cause. Then, if you still trust him, you stay on the ship. 

Trinity is so amazingly capable. I've only heard bits and pieces of her story, but I guess she was born in England and her parents were from somewhere in Asia. Whenever I ask Tank, he just shakes his head and says Trinity had a tough life. She was unplugged when she was about twenty, pretty much standard age for unplugging. You're old enough to realize that Morpheus is giving you a choice rather than kidnapping you, but young enough to still doubt the principles of the world you live in. That's important, because if you're too used to the system, your brain can't accept being unplugged. I've seen it happen too many times. 

Cypher is the only one on the ship that I don't trust with my life. It's not that I don't trust him at all, it's just that he was kind of older when he was unplugged, and he had a lot more problems with adapting. He's always had a little authority problem, and he's definitely what you would call solitary. Pretty much keeps to himself. He's damn smart, though. If he put his mind to it, he could be just as good as Trinity, maybe better. He's just satisfied by torturing himself over her, I guess. The thing about Cypher is that he's capable of a lot, but he doesn't have the balls to do anything. That's the main reason he doesn't worry me- he's not a coward, but he's about the closest you can get here on the ship. 

I hate being the youngest. I just hate it. It's not like the crew deliberately treats me like I'm younger, but I'm always conscious of the fact that I am a lot younger than everyone else, and as such I lack wisdom, maturity, and experience. Hell, I haven't even been to see the Oracle. Morpheus keeps promising that "when the time comes" I'll be able to go see her. Well, Morpheus, I want the time to be now! I mean, what if I was the One, and they didn't know it because I haven't been to see her yet? Hah. Who am I kidding? I'm the One like Trinity is Queen Elizabeth. Maybe in some alternative universe….

Oh, I don't know. Life is just hard. All the time. Not like in the movies I can hack into where the teenager screams "I hate you!", runs upstairs, and slams the door. There aren't any doors to slam here. Literally, there are, but honestly, we have no barriers. Sometimes Apock, who sleeps next-door to me, has these horrible nightmares and wakes up screaming. When he does, someone- anyone, whoever is awake and not on watch- will just walk in and sit with him until he falls asleep. That's the way we are here. I dream about the machines, and the fields of humans, and how my mother, who supposedly gave me the gift of life, was really just part of the Matrix, too. Who knows? Maybe an Agent has used my mother, taken her body to fight us. Maybe I've even shot my mother. There's the 'beauty' of the real world; your family is here, on the ship, always with you. But they die so often…. 

Well, life is short, and this entry is getting long. It's time for my watch. Switch and Morpheus are going into the Matrix, looking for a prospect, and I need to be there to back up Tank. He gets tired, too, you know? We all do. We get so tired, but there's never any time to rest…..

I think I'm going to continue with Mouse. I just love him so much. Maybe later I'll do a separate one for someone else, probably Dozer. Get back to me on that and tell me what you think. Reviews are welcome… *bribes potential reviewers with chocolate chip cookies*


	4. Entry 3

Entry 3

Wow. Morpheus and Switch just barely made it out in time. Agent Brown was so close to them. Thank god that besides having the computer, Tank has a practically photographic memory. We never could have used the system to pinpoint an exit in time. Tank is so valuable- I don't know what the hell we would do without him. 

Nobody knows about this quasi-journal I'm keeping. It's not really a journal, because that implies that I consciously spend planned increments of time on it, rather than just writing in it whenever I can't sleep. Currently, Cypher and Dozer are on watch, and Morpheus, Tank, Switch, and me are all supposed to be sleeping. But I have insomnia; the doctor in Zion said so. So I don't really expect to sleep a lot. I function on very little sleep. Usually I spend my time in here writing programs and thinking. And now I have this to write in. 

I bet Morpheus would love to get his hands on this. That's the real problem with him. He tries to monitor us all the time; our thoughts, our emotions, everything. It's like he still sees us as being partially in the Matrix, which gives him permission to manipulate us all he wants. I can see why Cypher resents him sometimes. But he is the boss, and we listen to him. Or we leave, like Locke. 

Locke was here my first two years. He was black, as dark as Dozer. Living on the streets of Zion since he was four had toughened him. He was born free, like Tank and Dozer, but it wasn't a source of pride to him. After all, we all knew that he had been homeless and a beggar, and though we didn't hold it against him, he acted like we did. Finally Morpheus got sick of his attitude problem and "reassigned" him (read: kicked him out) to another ship. He said it was better for the crew. Locke never really noticed me; I guess I was young enough to slip under the radar. It was Apock that he would never leave alone. Well, Tank, too, but always Apock. I don't know why…maybe because Apock is always so damn philosophical and calm. Comes from living your "life" in the Far East, I guess. Nepal, China, Tibet, that area. You can sort of tell if you look at him, but then again, he looks different inside the Matrix, because of the image residue. I must look different, too- younger, maybe a little heavier, a little less pale. It's kinda funny, seeing how some people look inside. Like take Trinity. She looks younger, skinnier, a lot less trained but still tough. As I've said, I have no idea what her "life" was like, but you can just tell that it was either her or it that was gonna go down. Take a wild guess which one it was. 

And Cypher. Now there's an enigma for you. Good lord, I'll give a prize to the person who can figure that guy out. You can just never tell what's going on inside his head. Me, you always know, because I tell you. I know I never shut up, but it's just a habit of mine. See, the thing is, when I first joined the crew, I felt like I was too young for my opinion to be shared. Like I didn't have enough experience to know what the hell I was talking about. Now I've been on the crew long enough to say stuff. So it's like I'm saying everything that I never got a chance to say for two years. That's a lot of time to make up, and that's why I talk so much.

Besides, it covers up the silence. Have you ever noticed that when it's quiet, and I mean REALLY quiet, it's like the silence is tangible? Like it's actually in the room with you, smothering you? I hate that feeling, so I talk. And it's so silent out here. There's no one else. You're lucky if you run into another ship once a month. And Zion? I haven't seen Zion for over a year now. We only go back there when we have time to spare, which is almost never. After all, we are fighting a war here. And war does not allow for rest breaks. Especially when it's against a very powerful computer simulation, and, by proxy, essentially the entire human population. Now there's a cheery thought to greet you in the morning. That and coffee will wake you right up. 

Well, well, wouldn't you know it? It's my watch already. And Morpheus says he has something important to tell me. Oh wonderful. We've probably been ambushed again. Either that or he wants a copy of Scarlett's program. Har har. That was a joke. Now there's something I don't hear too often anymore. I don't think I've laughed in months. 


	5. Entry 4

Thank you sooo much to my 3 (HINT HINT) reviewers. I love you all! Especially Raven- OMG my story is on your favorites list! IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!!!!! Yeah, LOTR rocks, def! I love it, I can't wait for the Two Towers! Yayyyyyyyy!!!

Entry 4

It's today. Yes it is. Finally, finally, FINALLY, I'm going to see the Oracle!! I'm so excited…. I'm sure you can't tell, huh? Well, it's kind of like when you're little and you want to go to school, cause all the big kids get to go. And then the first day of school comes. I remember when I started school I was so excited. I went off to kindergarten holding my mom's hand. I was jumping up and down the whole way. Now how is it I can remember details like that, but I can't remember what my own mother looked like. All I can remember is her voice singing me to sleep at night. It was a beautiful voice, the kind you could hear that would make you stop whatever you were doing just to listen. At least that's how it sounded to me. Don't ask me how I remember- maybe because I slept back then. My insomnia started around third grade, about when I started doing real hacking. About when I started wondering about the Matrix. 

That's the question that brought us all here. _What is the Matrix? _Such a little question, such a very complicated answer. And such a long, long way to go to get it answered. 

Well, it's time to go. I'll be back later. I'll be changed, I know that. Whenever anyone goes to see the Oracle, they always come back different. Every time. Either they're depressed, or scared, or happy, or just thoughtful. Whatever she says, everyone always thinks about it for a while. And we never mention it to each other. It's private, something you keep to yourself. I guess you just feel like it's for you, and no one else. Wow. Something to call my own. Even if it is just a prediction about when I'm going to die, it's still something.


	6. Entry 5

Entry 5

Well, that was it. I've been to see her.

We went to an office building, up to the 77th floor. Lucky number 7. Interesting. Trinity told me that the Oracle always looks different, and she's always in a different place, depending on who is visiting her. Not that 'visiting' is exactly the word, but you know what I mean. Anyways, we walked all the way down the hallway, to the corner office at the end. Before I went in, Morpheus turned to me and said, "Mouse, all I can tell you is- be honest. She knows more than you can possibly imagine." He looked funny, like he was gonna cry or something. As much as Morpheus can look like that, I mean. 

He knocks on the door, and this drop-dead gorgeous Spanish girl opens it immediately, like she was standing right there waiting. Who knows, maybe she was. We follow her into a waiting room, and she tells Morpheus to sit and wait. That's pretty much what she says: "You can wait here, Morpheus." God, I can't imagine talking like that to him. So calm, just so totally unfazed. Then she tells me to follow her. She opens another door into what must be the main office. She says, "Go in" and shuts the door behind me.

The two back walls are all-glass. God, those must be such a pain in the ass to clean. There's a desk with a leather chair, and lots of file cabinets around the walls. A computer- Compaq, basic everything, your average working schmoe's computer. Can you say boring? Give me the right tools and I can turn that little machine into a completely illegal operating object. Ahh, it's such fun corrupting the world. Just adding a little spice here and there. 

But it's the woman in the chair I'm supposed to be paying attention to, so I'll describe her. She's tall for a woman, I'd say in her mid-thirties. Black hair and dark brown eyes, and kind of tan skin, like she's been out in the sun a lot. She just looks nice, someone you could talk to easily, which I'm glad of. I don't think I could have some scary executive lady predicting whatever's going to happen to me. When we first walked in, I thought she was going to be one of those scary businesspeople. She looks at me and starts talking.

"So, you were worried I would be a stiff executive woman?" Oops. She has a nice voice, the kind that you might hear on the radio.

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" Um, yeah, better remember she can read my mind. That could be bad.

"Oh, I can't really read it, I just pick up on basic emotions. Like right now, you're wondering how the hell you can stop thinking without thinking about it. Complicated, isn't it?" 

I nod. There's not really much else I can do. Might as well not bother trying to shield my thoughts, since she can tell anyway.

"Oh, I'm so glad you decided that. Now, sit down." She points to one of those uncomfortable stiff-back chairs. Ugh. Honestly, do companies _try_ to torture their clients? She laughs.

"That's what I always thought, too. Down to business. You're here for answers. Or rather, you're here because everyone else has been and you haven't. You're jealous, so you want me to tell you something special. Something that will make you feel like you matter just as much, or maybe more, than the older ones. Hmmm?" I blush. She got it exactly.

"Well, there's no shame in it. You've always been the youngest. It's high time you got to do something. Well, let's have a look at you." She tips my face toward her and looks at everything, muttering to herself like a doctor. Finally she lets go.

"I could tell you a lot, but none of it is what you want to hear. I will tell you one thing. Do you believe in the return of the One?"

What? That myth that Morpheus is always going on about? We all nod and agree to make him happy, but we all think it's insane. We have ourselves, that's all. Not some dead guy that's going to reincarnate in someone else and save the world. Save that for your comic books. She smiles.

"No, hmm? Well, I don't blame you. It does seem a bit ridiculous. But I can tell you that it is true. Because you will get to meet him." Ok. Now I'm interested. Meet the One?

"When?" 

"I don't know, but soon enough. You will meet him, and you will die to save him. That's all I will tell you now." Oh sure. Thanks. How's that for a cliffhanger? _Now_ she tells me when I'm going to die. Of course. The goddamn mysteriousness of them all! Can't they just say what they fucking mean? Argh! 

Well, I guess now I have something. I thank her and the pretty girl takes me out. Morpheus is waiting for me. He says, "Remember, what was said in there is yours, and yours alone. I don't want to know, and neither does anyone else. Keep it to yourself, Mouse." Ok, ok. Honestly, Morpheus, I'm not that stupid. I'm really not.


	7. Entry 6

Entry 6

We're going in. That is, me, Switch, Apock, and Trinity are going in. I only go in on special occasions. They need me more here on the Neb, helping Tank. This time I get to go, though, partly because they needed another person and partly because Cypher volunteered to stay instead. Thanks, Cypher. I appreciate it. It's been a while since I went into the Matrix. Can't say I miss it, but it kinda bugs you when everyone else gets to do it and you don't. 

Anyways, we're heading in to check out a new neophyte. That's what Morpheus calls them. I asked Apock what it means and he says it mean like a novice or a beginner, a new convert or something. Okay, well there's my word for today. This girl is a hacker from Taiwan. I don't know her real name, it's some funky Chinese thing, but in the channels she calls herself Aria. That's pretty. We've been watching her for almost a year now, and she seems to know exactly what she's doing. I've never seen anyone so determined to find Morpheus before. I mean, this girl must live on coffee because she's almost never away from her computer. She's twenty-one, so two years older than me. That's another reason Morpheus decided I could go- because our ages are close. It might make her feel better to have someone around her age. Rule #1: the person has to trust you to follow you. We're completely rewiring their lives, after all. 

God, I can't imagine some people just coming along and pulling you pretty much out of your world. That's just crazy. When Morpheus took me, I though I was being kidnapped. It was the most terrifying moment of my life. I was walking home one day, just waiting to get on the computer. I was in the middle of a major project, on the verge of hacking into something big. What I didn't know is that the 'something big' was actually the Neb trying to get another recruit. Can you imagine if you were Morpheus and all of a sudden there's this nine-year-old kid fucking with everything you're doing? So he had to take me.

I got pretty close to home, and that's when Ben Bartlett and his buddies started chasing me. I was a little nerd- short, skinny, pale, and completely introverted. So I was the natural target for the manly boys of the fourth grade. Ben seemed to get so much satisfaction out of beating the crap out of me. Luckily, I was fast, so I could run. That was all that ever saved me. If I didn't run fast enough, I'd end up with a black eye and a bloody nose. I was running like hell, and all of a sudden I realized I took the wrong turn. So I'm practically crying, still running, when this big black guy steps out and grabs me. All I can remember thinking is that at least Ben couldn't get me now. After that it was all kind of blurry. I remember him telling me his name was Morpheus, and I had to trust him, he was taking me somewhere to save my life. I was so confused that I blindly followed him. Beyond that, I just remember waking up in the cell, having the plugs yanked out of me, and screaming as loud as I could. Then it was all dark.

I woke up about a month later on the Neb. I didn't understand where I was, and Morpheus knew he couldn't explain, so he put me on Vektor's ship. Vektor was nice enough, as I recall. I spent most of the time in total confusion or fear until he dropped me off at Zion. At least there were kids there. Through the years I was in Zion, I got adjusted to the whole concept of the Matrix. Finally Morpheus decided I was ready to join the Neb. 

See, the way things work is that if you're unplugged, you belong to the ship that unplugged you. They can send you to another ship if the other people need you more, or if the group chemistry isn't working. Like say we pick up a medic. We already have Dozer, so we can send the new medic to another ship that needs one. That's how it works out here- we all cooperate when we can. The problem is that most of the time we're pretty much on our own. I mean, if you're in the sewers under what used to be, ohhhh, Chicago or something, and the closest ship is in France, that's not gonna do you a whole lot of good. You have to learn to take care of yourselves as a crew, and not depend on anyone else to save you. It's the same individually- you can't always rely on the crew to get you out of a tough spot. You have to be able to fight your way out. Now I'm not saying that if, say, Apock was getting chased by an agent we'd just stand there and watch. Hell no, we do everything we damn well can, and sometimes things that we can't, to save him. But sometimes it's just out of our control, and that's when you need to be able to do it alone. Basic survival instinct, really. 

The thing is, every human has an innate will to live. It's stronger than anything else that ties us to this world, except maybe love. I wouldn't know- I've never been in love. I'd like to think that if I do fall in love I would be willing to die for her, but that's a hard question when you get right down to it. How much are you willing to sacrifice for a chance? I mean, I can say with all honesty that I would die to protect Morpheus, or Trinity, or anyone else on this ship. Even Cypher, I guess. And now that Oracle tells me I'm going to die to save the One. Well, that's honorable enough. I hope I go out in a blaze of fire, that's all I can say.

Oops. Morpheus is calling for me. Time to go.   


	8. Entry 7

I feel that I must thank my reviewers, considering that I think it's a miracle I even got 7 reviews. Anyways, thank you ever so much Isiodith, magicks, April, Gina-chan, and especiallmentally Raven (again) and Lomewen. You get special thanks because my story is on your favorites list, which practically constitutes ~wow that word has a lot of t's in it~ a national holiday in my twisted world. Now, enough with my useless talking. You want to read the story, and I exist to serve you (*COUGH*) so here you go. 

Entry 7

Well, that was interesting. It took a lot longer than we planned for to get Aria out of there. 

We went in around 8 in the morning, Taiwan time. She was still sleeping, because it's a Saturday right now in the Matrix. God, that's the one thing I really miss. Sleep. I never get enough sleep out here. I'm always busy, always working, always on call for something. The few hours of sleep I do get are not especially restful. You learn to go without it out here. You have to.

So Tank loaded a few programs- I mean, I don't speak Chinese and it would be kind of hard to explain anything to this girl if I don't even speak the goddamn language. We hopped out of a phone booth about two blocks away from where she lives. The Agents don't know about her, so we weren't too worried about them showing up. There's a difference between constantly being on the lookout because of habit, and constantly being on the lookout because you know those sons-of-bitches are going to be there. This way we can pay a little more attention to watching the girl. 

She walks by at 9:15, right when Morpheus said she would. I gotta say, this girl is punctual. Trinity nods at me, and I start to follow her. We agreed that I would follow her for a while until an opportunity presents itself. The others will follow me. I follow her down to the supermarket, then to the post office, and then she stops awhile at a house. This has already taken too long. The Agents can track us if we stay in one place for too long. Finally she comes out, and I start following her back to her house. We're supposed to have her by now. I don't know what to do.

Then of course, because a bad situation can never just stay bad, it has to get worse, I see two Agents. Shit! This is really, really bad. The only good thing is that Aria stops too. I don't know if she knows who, or rather what, they are, but she clearly doesn't want to walk past them. She ducks into a side alley and I step behind her. She looks a little surprised (I would too) but doesn't say anything. I open my mouth and say "We have to avoid those men," but a bunch of gibberish comes out. She's nodding like she totally understands, though, and then I remember I'm speaking Chinese. Oh yeah. Oops. I feel pretty stupid. 

She says something, but I can hear it in English in my head. Dude…this is so cool! I've never used the language programs before. She tells me that we can go around the back and through a tunnel that'll take us back to the street. Sounds like our best bet to me. We run down the alley and I can hear them starting to chase us. Oh shit. This is just the way to get a new person. They're gaining on us, and she's getting really scared, I can tell. She huddles closer to me and looks up at me, like she expects me to know what to do. Well, maybe I do. There's a phone booth around the corner, and I just hope that Tank has a patch on it. Cause if he doesn't, we're dead. 

I shove her in the booth and thank god the phone starts ringing. I yell at her to pick I up, and she does, looking totally confused. Well, I would be too, if I were her. I wish I'd had time to explain what's going on. Now if she takes the blue pill we're going to have to send her right back into the arms of the Agents. As it is, I just barely have enough time to grab the phone before the Agents turn the corner. Let them think we went into a building. It'll buy us more time, which we desperately need.  

We're transported into a basic place, kind of like a launch program. Aria sits down on the floor, and then looks around at the others, who are already there. Trinity kneels down and talks, very softly and very urgently, to Aria. She's nodding like she actually understands what Trin is telling her. Finally Trin asks her if she wants to choose, and she says yes. Apock opens a little silver container. One side has the blue pill, and the other side has the red one. Switch pats Aria's hand, and Trinity tells her about her choice. One will take you with us, other one you'll wake up in your bed yadda yadda yadda. Aria thinks for a few seconds, then grabs the red one. We all smile. 

We got back to the Neb in time, although the sentinels were getting a little too close for comfort. I hate them. Nasty creepy things. I wonder why all the machines look like giant bugs. Whose idea was it to make them so creepy looking anyways? Ugh. I have an irrational hatred of bugs, so having the machines that control most life look like big ugly bugs doesn't help. 

Aria's in the cocoon now. That's what we put everyone in when they come out of the Matrix. Basic shock prevention, as much as possible. We have to regrow all their muscles, which takes a little while. Up to three weeks, depending on the person. She shouldn't take too long, though. She just seems like she'll adjust really fast.

Which reminds me, I should describe her. Or her as I saw her in the Matrix. She's got long black hair- it was really too bad to cut it all off. It reached almost to her waist. Switch saved it for her- she said sometimes it makes you feel better. I don't know how hair can make anyone feel better, but then again I'm not a girl. She also has these big brown eyes that look so pretty when she's looking up at you and– damn! I can't do this! I will not torture myself over another crew member. I don't want to end up like Cypher. I can't let myself start liking this girl; it's just too dangerous. She could die her first day and then where will I be? Right back where I started. Better to avoid her until I can think of her like anyone else here- just part of my family. And you can love your family, but you can't fall in love with them. That's the best thing to do. I won't let myself like her. I can't. 


	9. Entry 8

Entry 8 

It's too late. I said I wouldn't like her, but she smiled at me, and that was it. I was the first person she saw when she opened her eyes and came out of the cocoon. I was the one she looked at, and I was the one she smiled at. It just feels like a connection, you know? Kind of like when a baby is born, and they open their eyes and look at one of their parents. There's such a link there- for life. Waking up and seeing someone looking back down at you; well, that's just something special there. Besides, coming out of the cocoon is pretty much like being born. Out here, your life starts when you're unplugged. So really, I'm almost as old as most of the crew. 

She opened those gorgeous dark eyes and that was it, I was gone. Now I know why Cypher always looks at Trinity like that. I'm probably looking at Aria the same way. God, I shouldn't do this to myself. I've seen what it can do to other people. Like when Kyassa died, Tank locked himself up in his room for three days. We just drifted while he was in there. Nothing we could do would get him to come out. Finally, the fourth day, he opened the door and walked out. Sat down at his normal seat, just like that. Nothing said. And Aria will die sooner or later. We all will, even Morpheus. I can't imagine him gone, but someday, some way or another, he'll have to die. 

Living out here gives you a lot of perspective. Someday, when this is all over, we should market this as a boot camp for 'difficult' teenagers. Hah. Can you imagine? A bunch of incompetent, disagreeable, immature morons out here trying to save the goddamn world. Whoop-de-fucking-do. Then again, are we that much different? It's pretty much the blind leading the blind. If Morpheus ever doesn't know what to do, well, we can't tell, can we? I mean, he could just have done everything spontaneously and totally by accident and just been lucky, right? Ok, I'm scaring myself. If our fearless leader (joke again, but not really if you think about it) actually is just shooting from the hip here, we could be in deep shit. Which makes you wonder if anyone knows what they're doing. Say Morpheus is just following the example of the leader of the ship he started out on, who followed the guy before him, and so on. So who started? Did some guy just use random strategies and hoped they worked, and now we're all copying him? A very frightening thought. I don't think I can deal with that right now. Not with someone new. I have to help her. I can't be going through my own self-examination, too. Then again, better now than at a more inconvenient time. Apock told me a little while ago that sooner or later everyone questions why they're here, and whether it's really worth it. I guess the whole concept of what we're doing takes a while to sink in.

It's not that I want to get out- even if I did, I couldn't. But I'm just starting to wonder why this all started. What was so wrong with the world that it had to come to this?  I'm not religious, but what did any omnipotent power have against us that it would punish us with this fate? It's enough to make even the most deeply religious person question their sense of faith. I mean, religion and science are supposed to be entirely separate, and yet these machines are playing God to us. They create us, they control us, they destroy us. How can there be a God if the machines are God? Is the Matrix heaven? Well, technically it was designed to be a sort of heaven, a human utopia, but you can see how that backfired. The problem with us humans is that we define our lives vicariously. We live vicariously. That's how we function. Don't you spend a lot of your time, well, in the Matrix at least, wishing you were someone else? Trying to be like someone else, trying to live someone else's life. That's the way it is. I mean, there's nothing we can do about it. It's human nature.

But- I don't want to think about Aria right now. It's just too hard. I really can't deal with it. Honestly, I have enough to worry about without a girl to complicate things. But it's kind of nice, just to know that there might be someone here I care about in that way, not just as a friend or somebody who's clearly older and wiser and more experienced than me. It's like they just fucking hold that over your head until it drives you crazy. I don't know, maybe I'm paranoid. I just feel like I've got one of those inferiority complexes going on, you know? God, I wish life was simple. Even if I just lived in Zion, I'd be happier. It's a goddamn wasteland out here.

It's miserable, it really is. Human companionship isn't everything. I mean, sure, if it wasn't for the rest of the crew I'd go insane but even as it is it's hard sometimes. Nobody ever told me life was going to be this hard. In the Matrix, you go to school, go to college, get a degree, get a job as some executive on Wall Street, get married, have two kids, retire to Florida, and come to visit and torture your children and grandchildren every so often. That's how life is. I can't say it exactly sounds exciting to me, but hey, it's simple. They tell you how to live your life, and that's what you do. You live by the strict parameters of society, and if you stray too far, well, that's what the Agents are there for. They take care of the nonconformists; they tie up the loose ends. Basically, if you don't fit in, they kill you. It's like extreme high school experience or something.

She's beautiful. She really is. Apock braided her chopped-off hair into a sort of ring, like a thick woven strand of silky black fibers. When she saw that her hair was gone, she almost cried. I could see the tears in her eyes, but she bit her lip hard. Pride. She doesn't want us to see her cry. I guess Trinity is kind of a role model of hers, though, because when they were introduced, she smiled. A real smile. She looks even more beautiful when she smiles. Like a ray of sunshine in our dark world. I wonder what the sun is like. Sure, I've seen the sun in the Matrix, but the real thing has to be better. If us humans hadn't scorched the sky with our pseudo-hopes to stop the machines. I wish that for just one day I could go back. Back to before this all happened. Even for just one day, if I could stand outside on a hill. Feel the sun on my face, and look up and see a clear blue sky. Just one day. I think that would be heaven. 


	10. Entry 9

I want to thank my reviewers. You guys have no idea how much I love you. Thank you so much! You make me feel so special! Hee hee. No, really, your opinion matters to us. Please hold; a representative will be with you shortly. 

Raven- actually the phone thing kind of mystified me, too. I just read it and realized that it made no sense. Ah well. This is my world, you see. Anyways, I think I'll leave it the way it is just because it works. Uhhhh- maybe they had different technology? *laughs* I don't know. Oh well. 

 Entry 9

I think what I miss the most is music. It's hard to stream it off the computers because I rarely have time between helping around the ship, writing programs, and sleeping. When I lived in the Matrix, music was all around me. Really, if you think about it, there's always music. Music in your house, on your Walkman, in the malls, in the stores, even elevator music. For god's sake, you can't get away from music. But it was always a comfort. I just remember being able to listen to certain songs and lose myself in the tune and the words. I wish I had that talent, to be able to say so much with just a few simple notes and a couple of rhyming lines. It's such a power, to be able to do that. You can say anything you want. Freedom of speech- amendment numero uno. You gotta love the gorgeous irony of it. Maybe back when things were normal it actually meant something, but at this point it's just another useless glitch in the system. Of course, it's not like anyone has that right anyway. If you deviate just a little from the path of conformity, bang! You're dead. Done. Toast. Unless we get to you first. But honestly, we can't save everyone. We can barely save enough people to keep us going. 

I can hear Trinity and Tank arguing again. Thing is, they don't really argue. It's just their personalities. Whenever either of them gets frustrated by some little thing, they talk to themselves angrily. Which gets really annoying after a while. But if one of them gets mad at the other, then they get into this huge yelling argument in the middle of the Neb. Usually it's extremely funny to listen to because they just sound so ridiculous and they know it. It's mostly a running joke by now, but it's good for all of us. Gets rid of a lot of tensions. Living in close quarters 24/7 like we do, you tend to get a lot of emotions flying around, tempers exploding everywhere after a while. So it's good to just let all of that out, not let it bother you anymore. It clears the air, and it makes us all feel better. 

We never really get mad at each other, anyway. It's just not an option for us. I mean, can you imagine if I'm mad at, say, Apock, and I deliberately get him stuck in the Matrix a little longer than I should out of spite, and it ends up getting him and Switch killed? That would be so incredibly stupid, and I would be saddled with the guilt for the rest of my life. Not to mention it might get the rest of us killed, too. See why we can't afford fights?

The worst one I can remember was when Tank and Cypher got into a huge fight. They've never gotten along too well, because they're just such different people. I mean, Tank is always so optimistic and cheerful and helpful and just generally a person you want to be around. Cypher's a genius but he's so moody and…..completely the opposite of Tank. I don't even remember what the argument started out being about, but fifteen minutes later they were standing there furious at each other. Tank was so mad he was shaking. They didn't talk to each other for two weeks, and referred to the other person as 'him.' Kind of silly, in my opinion. Then again, I've never been the kind to get mad easily. I think I've been really pissed at someone maybe four times in my life. Mostly I've been mad at Morpheus, for a variety of reasons, pretty much stemming from the fact that he virtually kidnapped me. But hey, these deep-seated feelings of resentment will fade. I mean, I came to terms with the whole concept of the Matrix years ago- it was just the fact that I was so young, and that I know he shouldn't have done what he did. But he did, so here I am.

Aria's a gofer right now. The newbies always are. Pretty much she helps Tank and Trinity. She seems to like Tank a lot (who doesn't?) and she's really good at general repairs and stuff like that. Mostly technical, but if some part of the Neb starts falling apart, she can fix that too. She's sort of like our mechanic now. I haven't really talked to her that much yet. It's kind of pathetic that there are nine of us living on this teeny-tiny little ship and yet half the time we don't even see each other. That really adds to the general solitude of it all. I might go a week and only see Apock at breakfast. But somehow you always know that they're right nearby. It's a nice feeling, just knowing that your family is always near you. 

We're meeting up with another ship tonight. This doesn't happen too often, so I'm happy. Apparently they're found a safe spot so we might get to spend a few hours together and even go onto the other ship, although that's a bit risky. If a Sentinel comes, you're stuck on that other ship until either you rendezvous with your original ship or you get dropped off at Zion and wait for them to come pick you up. Either way, it's not exactly the smartest of ideas. Then again, there's a certain risk involved in anything we do out here. It comes with the territory. It's just a matter of weighing one against the other and deciding which is less potentially dangerous.

I hope we have time to switch ships though. It's always nice to have human companionship other than your crew. I mean, you know the people in your crew better than you know yourself. You see them every day. You know what they like; you know what they think; hell, you know what they're going to say before they say it. So it's a welcome change to be with people that you don't know, people that you can have a surprising conversation with. Within the crew, we have no secrets. It's too hard to keep secrets, so everyone's lives are just laid out for public viewing.

We're supposed to rendezvous with the _Cassandra _at 1900 tonight. That will give us a few hours with them, if we're lucky. Thing is, you completely lose track of time down here. With no sun to tell you if it's day or night, we exist on standard time. Who knows if our noon is actually 4 in the morning by old Greenwich time? It doesn't matter. None of that matters. We don't need to know if we're right, but I do wonder about it. After all, we don't even know what year it is. Time is the fourth dimension, right? Well, we don't HAVE a fourth dimension. Because we exist solely in and for the present, we have no sense of 'last week' or 'the day after tomorrow.' Sure, we have numbers for all that, but the numbers are just so we can synchronize ourselves with other ships and with Zion. We don't use time for anything but that. It's really almost sad how time has no meaning for us anymore. Sometimes I think living in the Matrix would be easier.

No, I know living in the Matrix would be easier. That's the whole point of the Matrix. If I hadn't been unplugged, I might be in college now, or working writing computer programs. Mindless, yes; difficult, no. I'd be a hacker in my spare time, the Agents would eventually catch on to me, and I'd be killed. A highly pointless existence, but I would never have had to go through everything I have living out here. Sometimes I wish Morpheus had never unplugged me. I wish I could go back and live the rest of my short life in peace, without having to worry about dying the next day and saving the fucking world. My worries would be how to pay my bills and what to eat for dinner that night. God, I wish life was that simple. Sometimes I think I'd rather be dead than live this pathetic half-existence out here in the 'real world.'


	11. Entry 10

Omigod omigod omigod!!!! I'm actually on someone's favorites list!!! *dances with joy* Wow, I feel SO special! YAY!!!!! Thank you again to my faithful, Mouse-adoring public. Sorry the updates have been so few and far between; I promise I'm working on it. 

This chapter has a little more *stuff* happening. Well, I decided we need some sort of event, eh? Oh, the drama! Do tell me if you like it.

Entry 10

Well, that was certainly what could be called an interesting night. We met up with the _Cassandra_ at almost precisely 1900. Morpheus is nothing if not punctual. And Malik, the captain of the other ship, is practically a drill sergeant. As a matter of fact, apparently that's what he was going to be before he was unplugged. He must be nearly as old as Morpheus now. Which is really old, by our standards.

Anyways, they found a really old but still intact sewer system near what used to be Beijing. We set down there, right near them but not close enough to link yet. Always best to double-check for old security systems or something. Those are the ones that kill you; the ones that could never work in a million years, and yet somehow they do. And that's good enough to bring the Sentinels. Then you're toast. 

Toast would be good right about now. Raisin bread, with strawberry jam. Strawberry's the best. Man, I want some real food! I'm always so hungry. After all, it's not like I can just walk into the kitchen and make myself a BLT. Hah. I wish. Fresh tomatoes are something I haven't had in, oh, seven years? Something like that. I loved tomatoes. God, I'm rambling, worse than usual. It must be the exhaustion- I'm really tired after tonight.

Yes. Tonight. Must talk about that.

As I said, we rendezvoused with the _Cassandra_ in a relatively safe part of the sewers. After Morpheus and Malik decided that it was safe, we extended the bridge between the two ships. The bridge is a small round tunnel that is stored in the side of the ship. It sort of unfolds when you need it, and you can attach it to another ship to allow the crews to go between ships. So that's what we did. 

The crew of the _Cassandra_ is seven people. There's Malik, the captain. He's kind of like Morpheus, but even more grounded. After all, he hasn't spent his whole life chasing after some shadow of a hope of a reincarnated legend. He's about the most matter-of-fact person I've ever met, because he tells you exactly how it is. No fancy stuff, no trying to soften the facts. He just tells it like it is, and I respect that. I wish I could do that, but I'm a sympathetic person and an optimist and I hate to hurt other people. I just can't stand the look on their face when you tell them bad news. Absolutely kills me to see it, so I try to avoid causing it whenever I can. Pollux is his second-in-command. He's a bit like a male version of Trinity. Tough as nails, and he doesn't cut any corners. He's the kind of guy you want with you when you're backed up against a wall with five Agents right in front of you. Pollux is the kind of guy you'd trust with your gun, your secrets, or your life. You just trust him completely, and that's it. 

There are two women on the _Cassandra_. Well, one of them is pretty young- about Aria's age. Her name is Brita. She's not half as pretty as Aria, but she's so funny. It never ceases to amaze me that someone could keep their sense of humor totally intact out here in this wasteland. And yet she does. You can't be around her for more than ten minutes without her making you laugh. That's just the way she is- outgoing and happy. She and Aria seemed to be getting along really well, which is good. At least Aria has some semblance of a friend. The other girl (well, not really a girl, I just have an in explicable tendency to refer to most females as 'girls') is probably about Tank's age. Then again, I don't know Tank's age, so I'm really just guessing. Her name is Cristyl. It's a nice name, but it's one of those sneaky double-meaning names. Like me, I'm Mouse. I act like a mouse, I look like one, hence the name. Cristyl, though, it's a real name but she's a Seer. She could have been written into the Oracle program. Hell, she could've been the Oracle. So it's kinda like those crystals that are supposed to help Seers. I don't know which came first, the name or the Sight. Then again, that's a bit like arguing chicken-or-egg. And does it really matter? Just something else for me to puzzle over in my spare time. I think she and Tank have something going, though. It's just the way they look at each other. You can tell sometimes.

One-night things are pretty common out here. Like I said, you never know if they'll die the next day, so it hurts too much to try any kind of serious relationship. Basically, you pick a person you can stand, and you go have fun. Then the next day you leave, and you probably never see them again. That's the way it works. There isn't usually any stuff going on within the crew, either. It can distract you from your job, what you're really out here for. You can be friends, you can be casual lovers, but nothing serious. Like I said, after a while you learn not to care about people like that. Emotions can cost you everything, and so we learn to live without them. It's really not that hard- after a while, I got used to the harsh reality that I could never have a best friend because one day I'll wake up and he'll be dead. After you accept that, it's all downhill from there. In terms of accepting the facts. 

So, all things considered, it's kind of surprising that Switch and Apock have managed to stay together. Then again, I wish I could have something like that. That kind of link with another person. With Tank and Cristyl, I don't think it's anything more than a casual interest in each other. 

So. We bridged, and the crew of the _Cassandra_ came over onto the Neb. We sort of looked at each other for a few minutes, then Morpheus came down the ladder and said hello to Malik. After that, it was all friendly. I guess there's some sort of unspoken rule about letting the captains greet each other first. So on their crew, it's Malik, Pollux, Brita, Cristyl, a guy named Diablo (he's very weird, but damn is he smart), and two other guys. I can't remember their names. Diablo has tattoos all up and down his arm, and a pierced lip. Apparently he had a lot more piercings in the Matrix, but out here he only has one. Aria had this funny look when she saw him; like she was half afraid and half fascinated. Maybe it's the tats, or his really low voice, or the dark black hair, but there's something about him that she either doesn't like, or loves. Or both.

Anyway, after we all decided to be courteous, we went down to the kitchen, which is the only vaguely comfortable place big enough to hold all of us. I ended up sitting between Pollux and Brita, who had Aria next to her. They talked the whole time. My god, do girls ever shut up? It's amazing how much they can talk about the most insignificant things. Me, I'd rather be quiet. Yeah, I talk a lot, but when I need to, I hold my tongue, and I listen. Listening will get you a lot farther in life than chattering, and that's a fact. You can quote me on that.

After a bit of talking, a larger bit of time, and an even larger amount of Dozer's moonshine, we were all a lot more relaxed. Well, me, Apock, and Aria didn't drink much, and a few people on their crew didn't either. You always need a few alert people in case of an emergency. You can't all be stumbling around in a stupor if the Sentinels come. It's ok for a few people to chill out, but only a few at a time. So we're all just sitting there in the kitchen talking happily. Dozer, Morpheus, and Malik are up front of the Neb, checking all the systems. You can never be too careful.

All of a sudden Brita turns to me, and asks me if I know where Aria went. She was just talking to Brita two seconds ago! But she's not there anymore. As a matter of fact, quite a few people have disappeared. Trinity left a while back, muttering something about needing a nap. Tank and Cristyl are gone (hah! I knew it!), and Diablo is gone too. I think he went to go find Cypher, who is god-knows-where. Probably lurking in a corner somewhere. But Brita looks worried about Aria, so we get up and tell the others we're going to look for her. Nobody else knows where she is either.

We get out into the hall, and I decide that she could either be up front with Dozer, Morpheus, and Malik, or she's in her room. Betting that she might have just wanted a break, we head up to the front of the Neb. Morpheus and Malik are just sitting, talking, and Dozer's on his knees rewiring something. Malik's watching the pattern of the Matrix- all those teeny numbers and symbols. It's never made any sense to me, but I guess some people get used to it, and after a while it comes as natural as breathing. They haven't seen Aria, and when we tell them that Tank, Cristyl, and Diablo are gone, too, they look a bit anxious. Malik stands up and says he'll come with us, 'just in case.' I'm not sure what's going on here, but it doesn't look too good. Dozer stands up, too, but Morpheus motions and he just stands there, watching us. We leave the bridge and walk back down the main corridor. Aria's door is at the end of the hall, and I knock on it softly. No answer. I knock louder. Still nothing. Finally I try to open the door, but the handle won't lift. See, now even I'm getting a bit annoyed. We're never supposed to lock our doors. We can shut them, yes, but if there was an emergency, the lock could cost precious minutes. And time is everything.

Malik pushes on the handle so hard it comes off in his fist, and the door swings open. And dear god, I wish I hadn't been the first one to look in the room. 

Diablo's standing in front of Aria, who's pushed back against the wall. She looks so panicked, and he's talking soft and fast, his voice flowing and confusing. I can't hear a word he's saying but just the way he talks is practically hypnotizing. He has one hand around her neck and the other on her waist, and his hips are keeping her pinned back. He looks furious and she looks terrified, and I'm so glad we got there when we did because who knows what he could have done if we hadn't. Malik grits his teeth and marches over to Diablo, who looks even angrier now, if that's possible. He yanks him away from Aria, grabs his shoulder, and pulls him out into the corridor, slamming the door behind him. I can still hear his booming voice, though, yelling something about "Told you not to drink so much…" and "…promised this wouldn't happen again…" and "once more…Zion…reassignment…." Diablo mutters some form of apology and they walk away.

Brita runs over to Aria, who's crying, and hugs her. I'm not really sure what to do, and I'm about to leave, but Aria sniffs and says, "No, stay here." Ok. I walk over and sit down next to them on the bed. Brita's rubbing her back. I look at her and ask what the hell just happened. She shakes her head and sighs.

"Well, the thing you have to understand about Diablo is that he has anger management problems. He's always had them, but he takes medicine for them and he's been a lot better lately. The only thing is, he really shouldn't drink, because it counters his meds and obviously screws with his thinking. I mean, he's a brilliant programmer, and I don't know where we'd be without him, but he certainly offers his share of problems. Tonight I guess no one thought to remind him not to drink, and, well, that's all I can figure. What happened?" she asks Aria gently. "You don't have to say if you don't want to."

Aria shakes her head, sniffs, and sits up. "No, that's ok. I can tell you." She wipes her eyes and sniffs again. "I don't drink, so I got bored after a while, and I wanted to come back here. I've been working on this great program lately, and I'm so close to finishing. I thought maybe I could get it done. So I was walking down the corridor, and I thought I heard someone behind me. I turned around, but nobody was there. Maybe it was him, I'm still not sure. I saw Tank and Cristyl go into Tank's room- maybe I heard them walking behind me. Anyways, I came in here, and I was sitting here on my bed working. All of a sudden the door opens. I thought it was one of you, or maybe Morpheus, but it was…him. He came in and locked the door. I was about to tell him that we can't lock the doors, but he grabbed my arm and twisted my wrist so I dropped the stuff I was holding. He pushed me back against that wall-" she points with her chin "-and he was trying to say something, but I couldn't understand. He was talking too quiet. So I told him I couldn't hear him, and he said that didn't matter. Then- well, I…I'd rather not say what he said. He was talking really fast, and then you guys came in. I know he was drunk, and he didn't know what he was doing, but I was still scared."

She really was shaking. Her whole body, especially her hands, is shivering like she's cold. Brita wraps her arms around her, and looks at me. Yeah, ok, I get the hint. I hold Aria's shoulder, and she leans against me. God, I had no idea it would be this hard to be near her. I really want to hold her like Brita is, but I think after what just happened, that would be about the worst thing I could do. Right now she just needs me to be here, so I'll do that for her. I don't want to scare her away. 

Later we rejoined everyone else. It was a lot more subdued, though. Diablo was nowhere to be seen- I think Malik sent him back to the _Cassandra_. It was pretty quiet until Tank and Cristyl came back. Everyone laughed and teased them, but they take it so good-naturedly that it was just fun. Finally, they had to leave. We'd spent about as long as we could in the same place, and it was time to move on. They went back onto the _Cassandra_, and we detached the bridges, rolling them back into the sides of the ships. They sent a goodbye signal and then they left, disappearing into one of the hundreds of dark tunnels surrounding us. We swung around and headed vaguely towards Dublin. I wonder if we'll ever see them again. I hope I never have to see Diablo again. That bastard! I don't care if he was drunk out of his fucking mind- how dare he do that to Aria! If I ever see him again…. well, I just hope I don't, or I may have to break the law about hurting members of another crew. But something tells me that we're not going to see them again. It wouldn't surprise me. Nobody ever lasts long out here. They'll be lucky if they make it another year. We all will. And don't we know it. 


End file.
